Have you ever wondered how it is like for people with disabilities on a day to day basis?
When I got of age to go to school was the start of my struggles with people in society. It started in Pre-K in Rio Hondo Tx, year 1987. I remember that day so well. I was walking down the hallway holding my mom and she didn't know what to do next. I remember standing in front of two doors looking into both rooms and my mom wondering which room I was going into it. What you would call it, one room was the "normal room" the other was the "not normal room". I remember my mom put me in the special ed room. Again this is my recollection of the way it played out. My mom wasn't sure if I would be ok in a regular room until my Aunt Isabel came and got me out and put me in a regular class and told my mom that I was capable of being in a regular class and that I would be ok. That's how this all started.
School wasn't easy for me, not because I couldn't keep up with others but because how I was treated. I was treated like a person that really needed help or couldn't do anything. Things that I wanted to do, I wasn't allowed to. Going to P.E was never fun for me, I was not allowed to play any games that involved physical activities. You know how we say that children will mimic what they see? Well, its true, I was never able to play with others because they didn't want to play with me. I never got chosen for a team to play anything. The kids would run away from me. I even had lunch by myself most days because nobody wanted to get close to me. A lot of my days were trying to hide from everyone even from my teachers. I would try and hide in the bathroom most days. At one point I tried to run home before my Mama would after she would drop me off only for her to find me half way home and bring me right back. During this time there weren't teachers looking to see if you would leave campus. It was easy to escape especially when you lived around the corner. Sometimes I would get away with it and she would take me home but most days I wasn't so lucky. I hated that time of my life. I only had one friend so when she would come it was a good day. Can you imagine being alone most of the time in school?
As I hit Jr high things started to look up a bit. At this time we switched schools which I ended up in Los Fresnos because I went to live with my mom and dad. I regretted leaving my Mama. I remember when I hit six grade I wanted to play an instrument, I wanted to play the trumpet. The director looked at me and said I wouldn't be able to play any instrument because of the way my face looked. So, I sucked it up and went with what the band director chose, Drums. I learned to play everything well, and I mean I was the top in the class. Still to this day I wished I could have played the Trumpet. I loved Band so much that I did it all the way to my Senior year. When I was in the 7th grade that is when I was so excited to play sports. I love sports. I tried out for Volleyball and I made a team, Team B. I remember getting ready for the game and I'm on the court ready and in position. The referee literally stopped the game and told the coach I wasn't allowed to play because of the way I looked and that I could get hurt. That was one of the toughest thing for me to endure and embarrassing all at the same time. Everyone watched it unfold as I walked off. I wasn't even allowed to sit with the team. I tell you what, not sure what or how the coach got me back on to play in future games I was able to play any sport I wanted while being in Los Fresnos. I never had a problem doing most things. So, while there, I did Band, played Volleyball and Basketball. The coaches were still a little on edge so I wouldn't get much playing time but I took what I could get. Kids at this point in my life were still hateful but I had friends that would defend me. So, it wasn't always bad.
I ended up moving back with my Mama in the 8th grade because my Mom left my Dad. So, back to Rio Hondo we went. School in Rio Hondo was never easy. Teachers were not that good and kids were the meanest. Again, like Elementary I was always alone for the most part. I never fit in. All I had was band because the coaches in Rio Hondo wouldn't even let me be a part of a team. I would have loved to play Volleyball, Basketball, Softball and Track. They never gave me the opportunity. Foward to High school, I hated High school too. I was mainly alone durig lunch and wasn't able to sit in certain table because they didn't want me around them. I couldn't even eat my lunch comfortable. Rio Hondo was just a bad experience all around. I never was given the same opportunity as other. So, it was just all about Band for me. That's how I got through school. Band was my escape but it wasn't fair either. I wanted to march out in the field and again they didn't allow me. If it was up to them I don't think they would have had me there.
Back then, I don't think adults, people in authority were educated enough to deal with people that were different. Parents never taught their kids not to treat others different no matter who they were. Growing up people weren't very nice and at times were hateful. Despite of all that I went through I never gave up I continued to pushed forward. I ended up graduating High school with College credits and starting college with a GPA of a 3.9. That right there was determination and Gods favor over my life.
You'll, if you ever feel like you are drowning and can't come up for air, remember it could be worse, God will not put us through trials we can't handle. Also, remember to always be kind to others because you don't know what they have been through in life. Like I say, "Don't judge its cover before you have a chance to read it", you might miss out of an opportunity to meet somebody worth your time. Never give up on life no matter how hard it gets. Eventually the only way you can go is UP.
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